THE NURTURED MAMA PODCAST
Episode 005: STRESS LESS, LOVE MORE with Alexandra Hughes
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MEET OUR GUEST:
Alexandra Hughes launched In Essence Coaching, LLC in 2011 after training with the International Coaching Academy to become a Certified Professional Coach.
Prior to this, Alexandra dedicated 18 years of her professional career to social change as an international development researcher and practitioner. She got her BA in Environmental Studies from Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada and her MPhil in Development Studies from the Institute of Development Studies at the University of Sussex in the U.K. She’s lived and worked in Africa, Europe, South and North America, and speaks English, French, Portuguese and Spanish.
In Essence Coaching, LLC is Alexandra’s private coaching practice dedicated to helping mothers suffering from stress, to find balance, joy and self-empowerment. You can find her at calmjoyfulmom.com where she shares her heart-on-her-sleeve blogs.
Alex also hosts a Stress Less Facebook Community and a free Stress Less | Love More Challenge for busy mothers suffering from overwhelm. She also offers on-line Calm Mom Project to mothers everywhere, and works one-on-one with a small group of women.
Alexandra loves her coaching projects second only to her three mischievous and vivacious children and her loving (ever patient) husband who are about to embark on their fourth international move to…Brazil!!
WHERE TO FIND ALEXANDRA ONLINE:
Stress Less | Love More Challenge – http://www.calmjoyfulmom.com/ditchoverwhelmchallenge/
TRANSITION TO MOTHERHOOD:
Alexandra shares about her journey to motherhood that involves a lot of moving into various countries and also their story of adoption and becoming pregnant at the same time. She talks about giving up her job as a consultant to be a full-time mom and housewife.
They moved to the UK and struggled in adjusting to the new environment, parenting, and also trying to make their ends meet after giving up her job. She decided to go back to work and she later found out that she got pregnant with their third child. Admittedly, Alexandra was totally burnt out. She was losing her time with her family and becomes totally disconnected not only with her family but also to her own self. After a thorough reflection, Alexandra decided to retrain herself to become a life coach.
As for her, he early motherhood experience led to where she is today and she has used all of the lessons throughout her entire journey to support women that she is working working with today.
CHANGE MANAGEMENT AND TRANSITION:
According to Alexandra:
“The funny thing about life, change is the only constant.” ([12:03])
With every change and transition, there comes a certain degree of resistance and emotional mayhem, and fear. She shares about how we are naturally wired to resist anything that can take us away from our safety net.
The principle is about ensuring that the child feels safe in whatever change is going on, ensuring that they are able to express their emotions. Being well enough and calm enough to be able to manage that expression of emotions from a grounded place without teaching them to repress or suppress. Investing time with your child, whether in a big transition or a smaller transition, it does pay back because kids feel safer.
“Mindfulness is about being in the moment, but it’s ok to plan too.” ([16:16])
STRESS AND MOTHERHOOD:
Alexandra shares her thoughts that stress comes from the pressure we put on ourselves by trying to protect our kids against the things we’ve been through when we were younger. Added to that are the various standards being presented to us when to comes to parenting. So it’s a matter of external and internal pressure where a mother’s stress comes from.
She thinks that the certain disconnection, whether it is about your relationship with food or your relationship with your children ultimately reflects to the relationship that you have within yourself. According to her, “Life is about doing and about being. It’s about brainstorming, pondering, and reflecting.” She said that being able to cognitively analyze the relationships that we have and emotionally process it enables you to neutralize it, move through it, and this will stop the stress from governing you.
STEPS YOU NEED TO DO TO MANAGE STRESS:
- Get to know yourself by observing yourself, observing what stresses you out and when, observing what happens to you when stress triggers you. Learn to observe what is going on in your body. Learn to observe your feelings and label it. Assess your values and see whether you’re living in alignment.
- Love yourself through self care. Do yoga or take some time to meditate. Do something that can make you feel connected to your innerself.
ALEXANDRA AND HER COMMUNITY CAUSE:
- Alexandra is running a free Facebook Community called “Stress Less, Love More” Facebook Community. This is a group of open-minded, real, and honest mothers who talk about their challenges and are committed to stressing less and loving more. Alexandra offers E-coaching in her Facebook Group.
- She also offers a “Stress Less, Love More 5-day Challenge” which is about helping women in determining what are the things most important to them, and what are the things taking up your energy and headspace.
Referenced in the Show:
STACY TUSCHL – She’s Building Her Empire https://shesbuildingherempire.com/
FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/clearmindpresentmama/